Yadonushi
by Qelinor
Summary: Possible logical implications of the title by which yami Bakura calls Ryou, Yadonushi  "landlord" . Yami tries to help his host but he is still not very good at being good.


Yadonushi

Ryou remembered well that the evening before he took a shower, downed pyjamas, brushed his teeth and went to bed. Yet when he woke up he found himself fully dressed, sitting in a windowless room stuffed with fantasy books and RPG figurines.

His soul room.

"Just great!" he snarled and rushed out into the hallway. "Bakura, you bastard! Return my body, it needs sleep! I have math test tomorrow! Oh, today already!"

Someone's shadow was approaching him from around the corner. With a growl Ryou sprang to it without realizing that the shadows' hair was way too smooth for his yami. And indeed, the body he grabbed by throat was tanned, clothed in a lilac sleeveless shirt, and its purple eyes were wide with bewilderment.

"S'sorry.. P-please could you tell where a.. a to.. washing room is here, sir landlord?"

"Marik?" Ryou was so astounded that he forgot to release the intruder. "Wait... First, what are you doing here, and second, you are just a spirit and you don't need a toilet!"

Marik tried to twitch out of Bakura's grip.

"Don't you remember, Ryou? Your yami let me in during Battle City as a backup copy, to keep an eye on Pharaoh or to control you in some extreme case. But the case never came up, so I didn't control a real body for ages and was afraid to forget how to do that. So I'm imitating a living being here. Or, maybe, you have a kitchen somewhere? I tied to think it up but.. "

Finally he squeezed out of Ryou's slackened hands but didn't go away.

"Or.. Maybe, just maybe, you'll let me control your body once in a while? I can do house chores_ for you, or cook, or give you a lift by bike to school or anywhere, I'm good at driving! Please? Please?"

While Ryou stood frozen in search of words, another shadow appeared, this time much more spiky than yami Bakura.

"And I'm good at driving people mad!" A very distorted version of Marik screeched an jumped onto the original copy. "I'll devour you without any kitchens!" The original resisted, and a catfight ensued.

Ryou sighed, 'Why?' and inched away sticking to the wall, trying not to get caught in a whirlwind of fangs, claws and millenium rod replicas.

"I am you, Marik, not some stranger ghost! Wherever you copy yourself, you copy me too! And there's no Rishid to seal me back! Surrender!.."

But Ryuo was not listening already. He went forth to look for a place from which he could see his yami. Usually it was yami's soul room, and usually it was right opposite to Ryou's own room. But not this time. The hallway got larger, darker and much more mazy. For example, Ryou had never seen that canvas-draped doorway before. It was absolutely not in the style of yami Bakura, so Ryou moved the canvas aside slowly, without yelling. Dim light from the hall fell on a tall swarthy guy with short white hair and scar across the right eye. He wore red tunic and dirty white.. err.. skirt, and sat cross-legged on a pile of golden coins and jewels.

"Hello my fair lady!" he smiled. "Here I have all treasures worth stealing and need only a beauty to share these riches with me. Come in!"

Ryou stepped back and blushed. "Err, I'm not a lady-"

"Naughty bad girl is fine with me," the stranger stood up and went closer to Ryou. The latter sprang back.

"No! Stay there! Who on earth are YOU? And I'm a boy, not a girl, so leave your fantasies to yourself!"

The strange man looked perplexed. "Gods, I was joking. Who am I? I'm Bakura. The first and genuine Bakura. Ba-ku-ra means 'long-awaited gift of god Ra' in my native Egyptian. But for a long time I was possessed by demon Zork-"

Ryou tried to run away but was caught by the collar.

"Let me explain. Zork rubbed off on me, I rubbed off on him somehow ("I don't want what to imagine what it means," Ryou murmured), and the evil spirit of Millenium Ring, as we know him, is a sort of our spiritual child. Or our arithmetic mean, you pansy", he added seeing disgust in the boy's face.

"It does not explain why you are here - and by yourself, at that," Ryou retorted. "And.. Oh no! Arithmetic! Maths! I should be in the school by now!" But he failed to wriggle out of Bakura's grip.

"I've not finished yet! So, yami Bakura is kinda our kid and now he kinda hit teenager rebellion age and denied both his origins so flatly that we were mentally separated from his self and can only watch over him-"

"Okay, I got your point," Ryou made one more attempt to break out and succeeded, but stopped over a few steps.

"Wait... Do you mean?.. no, that Zork is here too?"

"Sure, dear landlord, don't you listen to me?"

Ryou looked warily around. He could swear the wall beyond Bakura's shelter was empty a few minutes ago. Now there was a large black door adorned with chimeras. Ryou came closer and pushed it. No result.

"Are you sure?" Bakura smirked, pulling the door with ease. Inside was filled with laminar darkness swaying like a veil. Ryou poked it. It WAS gauze veil. Immediately two pairs of red eyes glared in a column, two rows of formidable teeth snarled.

"Puny humans, you didn't let me drown the Earth in Darkness, now don't you let me shadow realm even in my room!"

"YOUR room?" Ryou felt like going yami himself. "It's MY soul and MY body! Everyone get out to hell!"

"Hey, it is impolite to drive guests away," the lower jaws muttered while the upper ones snapped, "And it's impolite not to look in the face of those you talk to!"

Most of Ryou's rigour evaporated at the word 'impolite'. "Eh? Sorry... but are not those both faces?"

"No. Face is on the top." The top face said.

"And here it's a #$%#", the bottom 'face' added.

Ryou blushed and turned away. "I have enough of you perverts!"

"You should put a 'don't disturb' sign on the door if you don't want to be bothered by the landlord," Egyptian Bakura said to Zork placatingly. Both fanged jaws pffed, clawed paw stretched from the veils to the door knob, but reached only the threshold plane and got pushed back by a flash of light. Four hieroglyphs glowed in air in the doorway, and another figure with spiky hair appeared.

"Don't touch my name with your filthy claws," it snapped and slammed the door.

"Yuugi, what are YOU doing here?" Ryou was already too exhausted for a proper anger or surprise.

"Well, I'm pharaoh Atem, not Yuugi. And not even the Pharaoh, but a part of his soul and memory contained in his name. I've sealed Zork with my name, remember?" Ryou shook his head.

"While he remains here in your soul I remain here too, so that Zork doesn't get out."

"That's good news for once," Ryou muttered.

"Also..." Suddenly the pharaoh looked very shy. "May I... control your body once in a while? I bet that moron Yuugi still hasn't even kissed Anzu, not to mention anything else. And she likes me, not him. In return, if you ever have problems with girl, I can help you, I'm expert!"

"No THANKS!" Ryou sprang up again. "My only problem with girls is to hide from them! And my biggest problem is you buggers! Are you all joking? I want my life and my body back!" Ryou lost his breath and stopped, then continued quietly. "Besides, stupid pharaoh, Anzu likes y o u, so if you approach her in my body you'd just get kicked, and that's -"

"Don't worry, I know a password," Atem winked to him.

"But why so much trouble? Can't you return through Yuugi? Everyone, not just Anzu, will be glad to see you again."

The pharaoh scratched his head.

"Actually, I can't. You see, we used to communicate only through the Puzzle. Not it is back to Egypt, and I don't have a ... a.. socket of suitable format to switch in. And Yami Bakura - we spent some time together when he entered my Puzzle - he recommended you as multiformat host, you know, he uses the word 'landlord' and other hotel terminology... He said he had administrator permission and opened a shared port-"

"What? Shared port?" Ryou jumped up with renewed vigour. "I.. I'll kill him! Bakura! Where are you?" And he stormed off to the depths of hallways. "Show yourself, bastard!"

"He's somewhere here, pouting," Pharaoh added waning into thin air. "We played duel monsters this night, and he lost twenty duels out of twenty."

"Thank you!" Ryou cried from afar, and added to himself, "at least, it means he was not outside killing people... Answer me, you miserable evil loser!"

"Not so loud, landlord," a coarse voice came from behind. Ryou spun back and froze not reaching his yami's throat by an inch. Bakura looked terrible. Paler than usually, with bags under eyes, batty bangles hanging limp...

"Shadow game again?" Instead of strangling, Ryou patted his yami on the head. "Why don't you just play common plain cards?"

"That cursed Pharaoh is cheating!" Bakura grumbled. "Whatever card I summon, he just conjures a stronger card! Next time I'm in command I'll beat his former host in revenge!"

All Ryou's pity evaporated.

"Stop that, yami! I'll never let you overpower me again! What have you done of me? A hostel? Why are you letting everyone in without asking me? Gods, I hate you!"

Yami Bakura sighed.

"That's the gratitude I get for saving your ass and teaching your offenders a lesson almost all your life. Didn't you realize that only owing to me you can be that fluffy good fellow everyone likes - because it's me who does all dirty work. And just in case, I'm stronger than you, so you can't do a hell about it." Instead of usual evil grinning, Bakura sighed. "But even I am not almighty. So I thought it would be nice to get some other useful guests. Say, Marik can drive-"

("I heard that already", Ryou retorted)

"-and Pharaoh can win any game. Let him out in a casino - and you'll never be out of money. Zork can replace you in dangerous places like vacuum, acids, plasma -"

("Like I'm going to outer space every day")

"- and ancient Bakura is good at obtaining things without permission and penetrating restricted areas-"

"Great, one day I'll wake up in jail for robbery... Now listen to me! Millions of people live without any substitutes and cope perfectly. I want to live my life by myself, to have my own achievements - and even mistakes -"

Suddenly Ryou jumped as if electroshocked.

"Stop! If you are here and everyone else is here, then who is in control?"

Yami Bakura widened his eyes too, his bangles sprang up again. Ryou turned already hysteric.

"I missed math class for sure, in the best case I'll be left for extra studies for all summer vacations! In the worst... Tell me, what becomes if no soul is in charge of the body? What if the body wouldn't perform even automatic functions like breathing? What if I'm already dead?" He grabbed his yami by the collar and shook him.

The evil spirit was rather perplexed than scared, though. He tore the boy easily away from his throat.

"Cut it out, really. Sure you won't die, you'd just lie unconscious, as it was when I and Marik lost to Yuugi in the Battle City. But why are you here now? Okay, I'm puzzled just as you. Step back, landlord, I'll take Forced Control and check out what's going outside. And you watch if anyone appears instead of me."

His aura flared purple, and yami vanished. In his place... a girl of Ryou's age appeared. The same white hair, the same eyes... Ryou felt close to a heart attack.

"Amane? Sister?" he breathed out.

"Oh, how come I'm inside all of a sudden?" she muttered to herself, the smiled. "Anyway, I'm so glad to see you again, little brother! Um.. are you glad too?"

"Sister.. Have I gone mad? You..." he collapsed to his knees, on the verge of tears. "Haven't you died in a car crash years ago?"

"Oh, poor little Ryou. Yes, your sister died, but you were too small to understand what it means. Don't you remember writing letters to me about everything that happened in your life?"

He nodded and smiled at last.

"Don't you remember trying on my dresses and thinking it's you sister still alive?"

He widened his eyes in dismay and shook his head, but she seemed not to notice.

"This way you've created me - an image of your sister in your mind, like poor Marik invented his yami-"

"You'll devour me now?" he uttered breathlessly.

"Certainly not, my poor silly brother! I mean only the best for you. I saw you had no time to prepare for tests with all those adventures, and I was good at maths, so I wanted to help you. You explained me in your letters how that villain yami takes control over, and I borrowed your body in the early morning and went to school instead of you. The test was not difficult, I guarantee you an A grade!"

"Oh really? Thanks, you took a load off my mind," Ryou still had not strength enough to stand up, but this time with relief. "It may be not so bad to have a spare soul, after all."

"Certainly not bad!" Amane beamed with joy. "There are some very cute guys in the parallel group, I'm so glad to get acquainted with them! I've appointed dates with Suzuki, Tagawa and Satou in the evening, half an hour for each... Which reminds me, I should be on the date with Suzuki-kun on the school rooftop now!"

"You..." Ryou looked at her in sheer terror. "You date guys in MY body?" And he dared to think there could not be more troubles... Then he giggled hysterically, "Well, it's yami Bakura in control now. I don't want even to think what he'd do with your date."

"Okay, I liked Satou more than Suzuki anyway," his sister chirped carelessly. "Don't worry, I understand you need some privacy too. If let me out for a minute, I can re-appoint the rest of dates to the time you feel comfortable assigning to me. But please remember that math and chemistry classes are mine! Probably I'm responsible for your left brain hemisphere..." and she chattered on and on.

Screeches of Mariks were heard nearby. Thief Bakura was humming some ancient Egyptian song in his room. Zork was grumbling in his apartment, the pharaoh jeered at him. Ryou was still sitting on imaginary floor of his own mind and didn't dare even to pray - what if Buddha or Jesus or some other kami comes and stays too...


End file.
